Saturday, September 29, 2012

Whatever happen, Lord will guide us , BELIEVE !

After back home with all the scan report and decision to start chemo on next week Tuesday, I am very happy , because I have make the decision of what to do , because my pain was so well control and manage to have scan procedure carry out smoothly.

Well ! It may surprise you, if I told you that I am not sleeping on Tuesday night after scan , because of back pain again ... :) . But, it's true that pain strike again and I not manage to sleep at all .

Anyway, Wednesday night, manage to rest , but, not a full rest . Even the painkiller, Ultraset, not helping me .

On Thursday morning, call up Hospice Malaysia and after discussion with Hospice nurse, I proceed with previous arrangement, 1 tablet of Ultraset + 1 tablet of Panadol every six hours once . Well ! It works , pain slowly under control, but, 6 hours once make me too tired and decided to change it to 8 hours, and finally, change it to 7 hours once , as of now, it is the best arrangement.

How I feel now ? One word ... WEAK .

Anyway, what is important now is to get pain subside or to minimum , once under control, can start to work on rebuild body energy . Hopefully , all well control before Chemo on Tuesday .

What make me so confidence ? The answer is LORD .

Whatever happen, Lord will guide us .


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Scan procedure goes well .

Feel great ! Scan procedure goes well, excep for MRI scan, as it took overall about one hour and can not move , then, my back getting cold, so, slight pain cause me very uncomfortable, but, manage to overcome it and have a proper complete scan.
Follow by CT scan, well, it is perfect and all well .

Waiting for about 3 hours for report and then, another hour for doctor for discussion .

As per my feel, right lung condition will not be good and will have to proceed for chemo .

For Brain mri, it is quite a surprise for me that there is some stable under control and some show minor progression. Anyway, looks like no big deal for time being as per discussion with doctor and will have to closely monitor it .

For neck spine mri, good thing is nothing show pressing in spine, more on the pain due to some pressing by muscle to nerve . But, spine condition is not really on good condition too. So, must monitor it very very closely.

Some new things , abt 5 , show up in liver, but, looks like will not give problem for time being and other parts not really have big difference comparing to previous sca, except for Right Lung , condition is very bad and therefore immediate action to proceed Chemo hv to go ahead .

Lengthy discussion with doctor, will proceed chemo with single agent, Alimta for 2 to 3 cycles and have scan or tumor marker to decide .
Took my B12 injection and will start to take folic acid daily, schedule for chemo by Tuesday.

Sometime I feel that it is a relieve after make the decision for what to do, instead of hanging there and not to make up my mind.

Thanks so much for Lord blessing and leading.

Look forward for chemo next week .

God Bless !

Monday, September 24, 2012

Life goes on and scan arrange for tomorrow

Finally I decided to visit oncologist today afternoon and after short discussion, we agreed to proceed for MRI brain and neck ( basically already 2 months for whole brain radiotheraphy , time to scan and see the result, as for neck, as I have shoulder pain , back pain and right arm pain, onco suggest to take mri for neck too. )
Meantime, will also take CT scan for chest , pelvis , abdomen as follow up.

Good thing is that the checking on breathing is about the same as previous check up and my breathing level still show 98 %.

Yesterday I went to see Chinese doctor for treatment and to take medicine, and told him about what I went thro' for last couple of days. First time, he told me that he will add in some anti pain to the medicine and see whether it help. But, he did told me, basically his previous medicine do not have anti pain substance and it is for body recovery only, if the medicine for this time can not settle my pain, he suggest me to visit western doctor immediate, as chinese medicine take longer time.

Anyway, looks like his medicine work, as I start to feel better with my pain and really hope that tomorrow is a good NO PAIN day.

It's great blessing that I doing better today when waiting for onco , and pray that Lord will bless me to be pain free and I can sleep on scan machine without problem tomorrow.

With Lord blessing , I can make it .

Pain , Pain go away and never come .

God Bless !

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Pain, it strike again .

It coming back and give me great disturbance for atleast 2 nights until now.

Keep finding ways to get it away , but until now, have not get the right way. With panadol , not success this time and yesterday I change it to Ultracet , one tablet, first time, it help for 2 to 3 hours and did help me to have a good sleep for 3 hours . Second time , when I took it by 5 am this morning, it loss the magic and funny thing is that I only feel tired after 3 hours ... :).

Manage to catch short sleep and just have my breakfast.

May Lord guide me and bless me with wisdom , how to overcome this round of pain attack .

Anyway, painkiller make me really tired, to regain energy, must get it off my daily life soonest possible.

Join me to sing the song ... ' Pain, pain , go away ... ' and pray to Lord , pain will go away and no more coming back .

God bless !

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Tell cancer , we are not worry .

I believe no one like cancer .

Or maybe ... Drug company involve in cancer drug, like it.

Or maybe ... Doctor involve in treating cancer, like it.

Or maybe ... People involve in marketing of cancer related product, like it.

Just joking , be it drug company , doctor or those involve in marketing cancer related product , no one will like cancer .

Cancer cause worry, cause stress, cause financial problem, cause ...

In short, cancer bring us nothing good.

But, we should not let cancer crash our life, we should learn how to deal with it .

Cancer do not mean it is end of the world, with all the new tech and new drugs, many patient prove to live beyond the statistic , and therefore, we should not let statistic make us worry and give up life.

So, what should we do when doctor confirm we are cancer patient ?

My sharing as follows :-

1) Accept that we have cancer and not to blame or keep asking , " WHY ME " . It will not change the fact, it only make us feel upset and depress , then, follow by fear and worry .
Start to do reseach and study for kind of cancer and staging we have , treatment options , get 2nd or 3rd opnion before start treatment .

2) Accept that have or do not have cancer, we will leave this world one day. So, death will not be a subject for us to worry. Anyway, easy to talk than to act, but, once we accepted it, slowly we will fully accept it. Anyway, God will decide, not us.

3) Start to do reseach and study for the side effect of kind of treatment that we are going to do and also what is the side effect and how long will the side effect last. Learn as much as possible kind of treatment and kind of drugs and it side effect. We should take note that different type of cancer, use different type of chemo drug.

4) Time to change to healthy life style , sleep early, exercise, gradual change of diet. Drastic change may not suit everyone, and it may not help. So, the right way to do is gradual change .

5) Start treatment to ensure condition under control .

6) Learn to listen to our body during chemo treatment and discuss it with doctor, as tolerate level for each patient to chemo drug is different.

7) Accept the meet up with other patient who is willing to share their experience, but, do not mean that we have to fully follow to their advise, as each of us react differenty to treatment.

For me, this is the basic things we should do to keep us have a direction to deal with it and we learn along the way of treatment for how to counter each side effect and also pain management .

Meantime, Lord is always with us and he will guide us, lead us to walk out from darkness to light, he will also bless us with wisdom and knowledge when he walk with us for living with cancer journey.

I pray to Lord for his mercy, grace, peace and love to always touch upon us and keep us well .

Thanks Lord .

God Bless.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Malaysia day 16th Sept.

Good afternoon ! It's Malaysia Day, it's Sunday, glad that it is not a hot day . Just finished my brisk walking and some light exercise .

Make some mistake two days and two night going thro' back pain again, anyway, manage to deal with it and hope that pain will go away today and I can sleep as normal again, if not panadol will have to accompany me .

Overall I am doing good, except my breathless seems getting bad when I walk, I means walk a little fast or talk while walking . Really need to find a way to improve condition, if not, my plan for next month travelling have to cancel .

Body still weak. Sit on chair, sleep on bed, walk within house, driving not a problem, as it's not much of movement, but, once walk outside, sometime will forget that I have to walk slow, breathless will start, and have to slow down or stop for a while .

Anyway, condition is much better than last couple of week , Thanks God .

Today I read an article about Lung Canver in The Star paper , Fit4life . Name of the article ' A target to aim for ... Exploring the paradigm shift in treatment of lung cancer '

The article give some good infor about lung cancer , targeted drug or chemo for early or advance staging , also what to expect . If you are interested, may log in and read it.

Lastly, would like to share with you, I am glad to be invited to join the Royal Visit by Prince William and Kate on Thursday 13/9/12 to Hospis Malaysia. Have a short chat with Prince William during his visit .

Feel great ! Thanks Hospis Malaysia invited me and thanks Lord for His plan for me .

Looking forward to have pain free day in coming weeks and pray to Lord to bless me regain more strength and no more breathless when I walk or run .

May Lord bless all of us to have a joyful Sunday and Malaysia day .

God bless.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

It's Wednesday again

Wau ! So fast, one week gone .

I have good day for last week, with some pain on some of the day , but, I can managae it .

Praise the Lord ! Thanks for guiding me how to deal with the pain and manage it well.

Body system is getting better now and looking forward to have a good recovery from coming days .

My target is to start travel again by next month .

Working hard on it .

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Better control

Thanks God !
I have better control of pain today with panadol ( one tablet everytime) before pain start and so far it works well. This morning I took one and just take another one .
But, I feel very tired today, is it because of the panadol ? Not so sure , normally one tablet can not make me so tired .
Anyway, no pain is definitely better than pain ... :)
Try very best to rest and reserve my energy as much as possible today .
Let see what happen tomorrow and hopelly have an answer .

How nice to be healthy

How nice to be a healthy person .
When you are healthy
- you feel great
- you can walk in the rain as when you like
- you can run ,jog , walk fast as you like
- you can eat things you like without think so much, as you can detoxic it the next day
And you can ...
Just so many things a healthy person can do .

So, when we are healthy, appreciate it , and if we are not so healthy now, time to do something to revamp our body health.

To be a patient , there is just too much of retriction and too much things to think before we act.

Not all cancer patient feel it, but, one day, when body system getting weaken, we just have to accept it , accept the fact that we are not the same person before we diagnose with cancer .

We can be strong, but, we must learn how to plan ahead and strategise it, so that we can avoid all the surprise , all the worry , fear and panic .

I pray to Lord to continue to lead and guide us how to plan ahead and to have faith for his healing .

God bless !

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


Pain is the most difficult things a patient have to go thro, especially when it is the first time patient going thro' the pain with surprise and do not know why it happen .

Most of the time, pain can subside with pain killer, but, we know that pain killer solve our pain problem, and may cause other side effect .

For cancer patient, the additional problem to deal with pain is that we do not know what is the main cause. Is it from the cancer , is it from the side effect of drug , is it ...

There's many possibility and each pain killer suite to some patient and not all .

For the last few days, pain suddenly attack me on neck area and it caught me in surprise, as the pain normally attack me on right side , but, this time it's on left side. Try to put ointment and rub it, it's normally what I did for right side of my neck, but, this time not work and give me more pain . Luckly that wisdom from Lord guide me to take two tables of panadol , and pain under control .

Funny things happen yesterday . Pain on neck under control with panadol, but, I have a sudden pain on my left chest after my shower after brisk walking . It is a great surprise to me, as the chest pain should happen on my right, not left. Just can not imagine how pain is it and breathing was affected. No chooice, took immediate two panadol and pain slowly subside in 30 minutes. Reason ... Be frank , I do not know .
Lord is great, he again guide me how to deal with it . I feel good in the evening, took one panadol for my neck about 9 pm to let it relax. Unexpected that pain on left chest attack me again about 11 pm and lucky that with one more panadol it help to get it subside in 30 minutes .

Seriously, until now I am not so sure about the reason. I meet Chinese doctor today and he told me it is due to my heart too weak , so , he add something to medicine today to strengthen my heart. Hahahaha, once he add something to strengthen my heart, it cause pain to my right lower ribs , like before . Now I am thinking, whether to try the medicine again for tomorrow ... :)

Today afternoon , doctor from Hospis Malaysia visited me and I discuss on this subject wih her . After discussion and body checking, I was told the pain may cause by cancer , the answer is 'may' . Be frank I fully agreed with doctor that even my oncologist may not be able to give me a proper answer.

Anyway, let's see what will happen in next two days , hopefully, all pain will go away and I am back .

I took two panadol just now and the pain on my lower right rib is much better now.

' PAIN , PAIN , go away ... ' , I will sing this song for all cancer patient who are in pain .

Brother / Sister , don't worry , Lord will take pain away from us , Lord will continue to heal us , and we will be okay , we will be fine .

God bless !