When thing don't work, find new solution .

Since chemo treatment on 20th March '12, I again lost appetite and not really eat too well .
Kind of worry , as I need to regain my weight and meantime, I feel tired everyday, it may due to intake of food is low and my blood is low too.
On last week Thursday, I decided to make a change and plan to go ahead with any food that can bring my appetite back. After the first day, I feel better and decided to keep it going for a week , before I go back to the suppose healthy diet again.

Meantime, I also decided to make a visit to the Chinese doctor again . So, on last week friday, I proceed with it and have the theraphy again , feel good and I have another round of it yesterday. Since last Friday I also start with Chinese medicine for body system recovery, I feel much better now.
Still feel tired and need atleast one to two time for short nap in late morning and late afternoon.
But, overall feel so much better.

Action ... sometime, we just have to make a decision and go ahead with ACTION .
Most of the time when we face with problem or caught in a situation, we tend to think of the cause and ask why , tend to ask for help or advice and tend to think what to do next .
Then, with no action, we will just stay and continue think and ask . Time pass and issue not resolve and we get upset , we get depress , we get angry , we get worry , we get ...

Action is the answer, without makeup our mind to step out from the situation and take action, we will continue to feel upset, depress, angry , worry .
Without go ahead with action, we will not know whether our ideas will work.

This happen more often to cancer patient when face with sudden body system change .

Be brave , be positive to find solution and ask Lord for wisdom , ask Lord to guide us , then, go ahead with ACTION and there is always a way out .

Lord, we are thankful for your blessing for us to have wisdom and please continue to guide us to the right solution and lead us to take ACTION .

God bless.

Still feeling weak

Hopefully it is not a sign of my condition going to take a U turn .
Last two days getting better and sign of recovery from side effect within this week is high .
But, yesterday night start to feel tired again and this morning feel not so good , but, so far still okay !
Yesterday night disturb by body itchy allergic , end up took anti allergic drug about 4 pm, thereafter, manage to sleep well.
But, the drug make me very tired .
Suppose to have appointment with Cardiologist at 10 am and have to call up to delay it for an hour.
After checking, today heart beat rate still consider high, slightly over 90 per minute. But, ECG show, heart function well.
Cardiologist suggest to continue the madicine and increase slightly the dosage , monitor for 3 months .
Will take a good rest after lunch , time to rest more and take things easy .
Maybe last two days I spend too much time on e mail and some oversea enquiry .
Body is making noise , so, better listen to the alarm and rest.

What is LIFE mean to me

The question of what is LIFE for me come across my mind this morning .

Good question ! What is LIFE for stage IV cancer patient like me .

Did think about it before and after 3 over years of living with cancer, I would like to share with you what is in my mind for LIFE since the day I'm living with lung cancer.

LIFE is full of uncertainty , as anything can happen in next moment and we will not know what to expect.
LIFE is full of surprise, unexpected JOY and HAPPY news did happen from time to time.
LIFE is sweet with all the LOVE , CARE , SUPPORT from Lord, family , friends .
LIFE is full of challenge, as I have to always study , reseach what is next treatment , what is next supplement to try , what is ... .
LIFE is to live everyday with JOY and share my JOY and HAPPY moment with others.
LIFE is to enjoy every precious moment with my family .

Sometime,
I feel upset with the body condition changes ;
I feel the pain because of treatment ;
I feel depress because I don't know what is the future ;
I feel ...

But, this is LIFE . Be it healthy or sick , at time we will feel upset with things, we will feel pain because of some issues, we will feel depress because we do not know what to do next in our personal life , our career .

So, it is nothing wrong .

What is important is
I have accepted the fact ;
I have learned how to live with it ;
I have learned not to let the situation control me ;
I have Lord , family , friends support me with Love and Care ;
I have Lord with me to guide me walk out from darkness to light .

LIFE is WONDERFUL .

Let's not give any chance for the small 'c' to make our life miserable, we do not deserve it.

LIFE is wonderful and colourful.

The small 'c' will find it is no fun to stay in our body and decided to leave and we will be set free of cancer, as we will not give in to it , we will not let it make us worry , fear , depress, sad.

We will continue to stay firm to LIVE our LIFE with JOY .

Live well and be Happy .

God bless.

I am back In action

Last Tuesday , after doctor visit , I make the immediate decision to proceed with chemo treatment.
Finally accepted doctor proposal to use both Alimta and Carboplatin , but, both with reduce dosage .
Everything goes well until body suddenly react to Carboplatin with allergic , start with finger tips itchy , follow by the whole palm, then, my tongue . Immediately call for a stop and doctor arrange for immediate injection of anti allergic drug .
God bless ! Manage to stop the allergic reaction and I refuse to continue with it until doctor meet up for discussion.
After discussion with doctor and assurance from him, chemo continue and finish by evening, then, admit to ward and take a good rest.
The allergic drug is strong and make me drowsy, but, good thing is that it let me have a good sleep .
Today is the 7th day after chemo , so far feel great and happy with the recovery from side effect.
Since chemo , I am sleep , eat , sleep , eat , sleep , eat , so, most of the day I am resting . Good rest help me to have good recovery .
Anyway, I still have to deal with the normal chemo side effect , i.e. Nausea , feel of vomit , fatigue , dry skin , dehydrate , stomach gas , constipation ...
But, overall I am happy with it , as I can sleep well.
Hopefully , all goes well and I can fully recover from side effect .
Feel great to be back in action .
Thanks Lord blessing and healing .
Thanks for all the prayer .
Looking forward to have good body recover and can start flying and travelling again . Missed travelling life .
Today friends msn me and ask me just to shout loud when I am ready for lunch with them . So kind of them , thanks so much for their support and care.
Feel so grateful with all the support I have from Lord , from my family , from all my friends .
May Lord blessing be with us every moment in our life and bring us Joy , Happiness and Good health .
God bless !

A good discussion

Have a good discussion on last Saturday with doctor.
It is a very frank discussion with him about how I feel and what I looking ahead .
I asked doctor whether I can work on half the dosage of the chemo drug Alimta for my next treatment and work on 6 to 8 weeks a cycle instead of the normal 3 weeks cycle.
Reason is that what I am looking for is to stable my condition and to have very minimum side effect, so that I can enjoy some quality of life during treatment.
Doctor told me, there is Metronomic chemotherapy work on low dosage , but, there is no strong evidence that it works for every patient. For my case with Alimta, he feel that the lowest dosage to work should be atleast 75% of the normal dosage base on my body mass and I may work on every 4 weeks per cycle . Then, we look into the result after 3 to 4 cycles and see whether it works to keep my condition stable .
I suggest to doctor that if after 4 cycles it works well, I would like to take a 3 months break, so that , I can give some rest to my body and meantime, It is because I need 90 days break from admission to hospital or treatment for my insurance to start a new confinement claim.
Next in discussion is about CT scan, as next week is the due date for my next 3 months CT scan. I ask doctor whether can do away the contrast agent, as I really not like it , or using MRI scan . Doctor advise that without the contrast agent, the scan image will not show clearly any new grow of cancer tumor . As for MRI , it is not suitable for lung , as image will not be clear.
I told doctor that what I am interested to know now is the result of existing tumour after the chemo on 10/2/2012 and will use the contrast agent for next CT scan by end June .
Doctor suggest that if this is the case, I can just take an X Ray to compare with the previous X Ray I took in Feb '12 and take blood test to check on the tumour marker .
After checking and a proper consultation, I decided to proceed with the X Ray and blood test.
Will meet up with doctor on coming Tuesday to go thro' the report and decide treatment arrangement.
Meantime, I request doctor to arrange appointment for me to meet up with cardiologist on Tuesday to have a proper check on my heart condition, as my heartbeat rate is anytime above 100 for the last few months, it give me kind of worry .
Wish everything goes well on Tuesday appointment and workout a proper treatment plan.

So far so good .

Since last post, body system getting better everyday .
Praise the Lord !
Start driving again and today is the longest distance I drove alone .
Actually I am now in cancer centre for appointment with doctor for the next action to take in coming weeks.
Pain is well under control , so as gastric .
Only concern is weight is not regain yet, still finding solution. One of the issue maybe my intake volume have reduce and seriously not manage to eat too much .
Two days ago, I decided to start taking PROSURE milk powder again, hopefully it help me to regain my weight.
Yesterday , Hospice nurse pay me a follow up visit and we have a good discussion over my condition , thanks for their assistance .
Last few days have better sleep at night , but, always wake up early, so, will feel tire by late afternoon and need to rest , if not, I will feel very tired towards evening .
I still need sometime to adjust to all the changes .
As body system not fully recover yet, so , decided to call off family outing to resort during this school holiday. Will work hard to have a good recovery and prepare for a good vacation in next school holiday in June .
Overall feel great and happy with my condition .
Wish to have a good discussion with doctor today and wish everyone have a good and joyful weekend .

Getting better .

Praise the Lord !
Getting better .
Have my wanton noddle yesterday . My first outing in last 4 weeks to shopping mall . Feel good !
Last few days start taking ginger water , few times a day . One in the morning and one before of after food . So far it work well and help to reduce my stomach upset .
Another issue bothering me now is weight loss . About 3 kgs lost over 4 weeks .
Need to work hard to regain my body system and get the gastric problem away , so that, I can eat and regain my weight .
Thanks so much for all the prayer , support , care and love .
I will work harder to get over it and back in action .
It is school holiday now, wish that I can spend a short trip to any nearby resort with my family .
Let see how my condition improvement in next two days .
God bless.

Good news ! More than 24 hours without pain killer , GREAT !

Good morning ! Feel great ! I make it , more than 24 hours without taking pain killer . Praise the Lord !

When I decide to make a try to stop pain killer yesterday, I stop gastric medicine too .
But, too bad, stomach upset for the whole day , so, I decided to take gastric medicine this morning , to ensure it will not get worst. Maybe I need another week of gastric medicine .

Last evening start coughing and phlegm start building up. Not sure whether is the lung infection is back , will monitor closely for another day, if no imrpovement, looks like have to visit doctor and ask for antibiotic.

Feel kind of sad for the last few weeks, as beside of my condition, other friend who is fighting the battle is not feeling well too.

I pray to Lord for his healing and blessing to touch upon my friends and restore their body system , so that they can have a good recovery .

God Bless !

Not an easy battle for this time .

3 over weeks ago, I go for the battle with full of confidence, as I been deal with the two chemo drug, Alimta and Carboplatin before.
I am so confident , because I know what is the expected side effect .
But, living with cancer is always with uncertainty and surprise , and it turn out to be a big surprise for me .
I experience the worst pain in my life , pain in my chest rib , pain on my back .
I experience the worst gastric and gastric pain in my life. Even a small meal cause stomach bloating and almost give up eating.
Now I understand what is the meaning of pain going thro' by other cancer patient .
Now I understand what is the meaning of gastric pain .
In my life, I never think of those pain can be so unbearable and I now understand why some cancer patient give up their fight.
I am thankful that Lord is with me and guide me , heal me, bless me with wisdom on how to deal with it .
I am thankful that Lord send Pastor Bruce Wast and Pastor Max Palmer from New Zealand, come over to my house to pray for me at the time I need most .
I am thankful for the care , love and support from my wife and daughter.
I am thankful for the care , love and support from my sister, Adelin and her church member, their prayer keep me going .
I am thankful to have all of you give me your support , care , love and pray for me .
I am thankful to have doctor and nurse in Pantai KL cancer centre give me support and advise.
I am thankful to have Rachel , nurse from Hospice Malaysia, visit me and give me valuable advise on pain management.

My fever have subside , gastric getting better .
But, still have to rely on pain killer ( Ultracet ) everyday . Anyway, I manage to cut it down from one tablet 3 times a day to 2 times a day , since yesterday. I am looking forward to bring down to once a day .

Suppose to have my second cycle of chemo on 2nd March , Friday . After discussion with doctor, will defer it until I get better. I also request to use only Alimta and drop Carboplatin .

What is ahead ?
Be frank , I am not sure , but, I believe Lord have a good plan for me .
The road ahead may be more rough , may have more surprise or may be more interesting .
Whatever is it , I am ready to face it and continue to walk thro' this journey .


God Bless !